Christmas gift ideas
As it’s very nearly that time of year, here is the editor’s pick of the best Christmas gifts.
The NHS Settlement Magic Set – Astound your friends with this amazing trick. Ask someone to put £10bn on the table. Which cup is it under? Keep moving the cups around, then watch their faces as you show them the empty cups. The £10bn was in your imagination the whole time!
- The Magic Ringfence – see it move before your very eyes
- The Old Rope Trick – take two or more NHS regulators and keep throwing money at them until they merge
- The Vanishing Doctor – keep rubbing the profession up the wrong way until it disappears, then announce that you’re going to bring it back by magic – but don’t tell anyone how the trick is done. Also works with nurses.
Hornby Improvement Engine –This OO-gauge locomotive comes in a number of models including a primary care diesel shunter and an FT-class steam engine.
Complete with an NHS England designed railway management system with fail-safe signalling and points, realistic miniature ageing population and 500-page instruction manual.
Have fun reorganising your railway as often as you like. Available track layouts: circular.
(Toys R Us, £59)
Transformation and Sustainability Piggybank – This frontloading moneybox allows you to save for the things you really want while paying for the things you really need. Each time you deposit a coin it goes straight down the back passage to keep hospitals running. Keep saving until you have nothing left.
Great way to teach children the value of creative accounting.
(John Lewis, £1.8 billion)
Clueso! – The ever-popular murder-mystery board game. Fun for all the family as Professor Field, chief inspector of general practice is found in the library with a knife in his back clutching a copy of the Daily Mail.
Who did it? Was it Ms Hackette the journalist with an overblown exclusive or Mr Flack the CQC press officer who arranged the interview in the first place? And where was Dr Bluster from the BMA…?
(WH Smith, £4.99)
Airfix New Model of Care – Authentic 1/72 scale model of future healthcare services with real flight capability. Flight modes include: vertical take-off, running out of fuel and crash-landing.
Choking hazard – contains unbelievable parts. Note: finished model may bear no resemblance to picture on box.
(Hobbycraft, £200 million)
Secretary of State Action Figure – Completely lifelike Jeremy Hunt doll. Roll up his shirt sleeves as he gets ready to go on a hospital visit with Simon Stevens and a BBC camera crew or goes into battle with junior doctors.
Outfits: ministerial briefs, full combat dress.
Batteries not included. Simon Stevens figure sold separately.
Retail editor: Julian Patterson
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